Every day, 5 jokes – Day 1

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This is only Day 1. If any of these offend you, get a grip. It’s only going to get worse from here.

  1. Justin and Hailey Bieber were denied entry into a NYC restaurant earlier this week, with management saying that they were ‘treated like anyone else would be’. “Treated like anyone else would be?” Did they get food poisoning too?
  2. Matthew McConaughey published an op-ed where he called for ‘gun responsibility’ versus ‘gun control’. Which makes sense when you consider that among all the things Americans are famous for, ‘responsibility’ is number one.
  3. Margorie Taylor Greene made some news by hiring controversial commentator Milo Yiannopoulos as an intern. When asked for comment on bringing a YouTuber with a horrific past on her team, she expressed regret that she couldn’t hire her first choice – the Logan Paul suicide video.
  4. Yiannopoulos describes himself as an ‘ex-gay’ man who calls his husband ‘the guy I live with’ who’s ‘been demoted to housemate’. That headline again, ‘Milo Yiannopoulos learns what divorce is’.
  5. A new diabetes drug is said to be helpful to obese people who don’t even have diabetes, with people in their study losing anywhere from 35 to 52 pounds. And I’ve had it with these people resorting to pharmaceuticals to lose weight. I did mine the old fashioned way, being too poor to afford inflated food prices.

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